Leading By Example

Although Her Majesty's Government has long disapproved of critics politicising non-political issues, notably the policies of Her Majesty's Government and subsequent foreseeable disasters, when it comes to lesser breeds the moral imperatives are self-evidently different. Dominic Raab, Minister for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets, has made clear the Cummings administration's dislike of racism, human rights violations and breach of international law, provided only that these grave transgressions are committed by the Heathen Chinee and not by the Conservative, Unionist and Brexit Party. In case his own towering moral authority did not adequately demonstrate the ethical and intellectual difference between the white saviours of Uighurdom and the yellow peril, Raab hinted that Global Britain might deprive the Heathen Chinee of the economic benefits of our sunny post-independence uplands, or even boycott the Winter Olympics, or get the Duke of Cambridge to boycott them on Raab's behalf. So desperate has the situation become that Raab even claimed at one point to have some sort of interest in evidence, which is certainly not something the Cummings administration has ever much bothered with at home.