Healthy Outdoor Activities

There have recently been rumours that, despite Government exhortations to defy the pandemic by eating in restaurants and sending children back to school, certain foolhardy members of the public have been eating in restaurants and sending children back to school. Naturally this has resulted in the virus beginning to spread once more; and since our test, trace and thingummy is so world-beating that nobody can see it run, the Government has instituted yet another set of rules about how many plebs are allowed to herd together before some curtain-twitching busybody can waste police time about them with a sufficiently clear conscience. Alas, the new regulations could potentially have inconvenienced those paragons of British fair play and kindness to animals whose idea of a good time is to fire metal pellets into whichever birds seem sufficiently harmless and slow-moving to merit the honour. The arguments over whether to apply the restrictions to these sporting types apparently went on long enough to delay any announcement as to how the more expendable classes might be affected; so if the Cummings administration's front-man seems a little distracted during the parliamentary debate over the Law-breakers' Legalisation Bill, it's probably because the Cummings administration has been dealing with something far more important than the pedantic misgivings of a few enemies of the people.