DIsloyal Facts

To the surprise of few but the Conservative Party's grittier intellectual firebuckets, mere researchers have found that Tumbledown Tessie's hostile environment policy failed in its primary goal of inducing the ethnically inferior to cleanse themselves out of Britain. Instituted with the benign compliance of the Liberal Democrats during the régime of the glistening pink Head Boy whom moderate journalists consider a modernising centrist, the policy did bring about a number of reforms which neither the Conservatives nor their accomplices will consider altogether undesirable. Increases in poverty, ill health and racism have never bothered the party of Churchill, Thatcher and Enoch Powell; and the growing use of public-sector workers and private landlords as border patrol goons can only be a sign of efficiency to the centralising modernists who gave us Graybeing's probation service and Lansley's NHS. A spokesbeing for the Ministry of Wog Control responded by implying that the Government can hardly be expected to plough through more reports when it still hasn't finished failing to compensate the Windrush generation.