Christ on a Bike

In Dostoyevsky's famous parable of the Second Coming, Christ is reincarnated in Spain and promptly arrested by the Inquisition. A fanatical Christian, and hence an enthusiastic hater of his fellow Christians, Dostoyevsky set his story among the Catholics; but it does not appear that the Russian Orthodox church has managed a similar situation much better. A failed traffic policeman has emerged as the Saviour's latest incarnation, only to be condemned by Russian scribes and Pharisees and handed over to the secular arm. On founding His church in 1991, the new incarnation originally claimed that the Virgin Mary was in charge of the country, presumably working through the receptively pickled instrumentation of Boris Yeltsin; but the vagaries of the divine plan have since dictated a change of personnel. The minions of Tsar Vladimir have condemned themselves out of their own mouths by claiming that the upstart emotionally abuses His followers and extorts money from them. Since the original Jesus spent most of His time scolding and threatening, and also derived one or two creature comforts from the substance of others, only those who will not see could be blind to the obvious implication.