Sticky Little Trigger-Fingers

That most precious American institution, the school massacre, may be in mortal peril thanks to the continuing assault on national values by the forces of rampant white-genocidal Islamo-communism. The attorney general of New York is suing for the dissolution of the Non-compos Riflemen of Academia on the blatantly political grounds that its financial practices resemble those of the Trumpster Party. Besides corruption, nepotism and illegal diversion of charitable funds, the leadership of the Nucular Republican Army is accused of fostering a "culture of non-compliance and disregard for internal controls," leading to a financial orange alert eminently worthy of the hydrophobic head-tribble and its tangerine dangler. However, the Nigger Regulators Association says that it has sued right back, raising the possibility of resolving the matter like normally reasonable Americans.