Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

It is a Truth univerſally acknowledged, that there is no Thing ſo ſaps the moral Fibre of the lower Claſses, than an Exceſs of good Health. Without the harſh Incentives of imminent Starvation and incurable Diſeaſe, the naturall Man inevitably gaineth Aſcendancy over all that is great and noble, and all too eaſily forceth out the Britiſhneſs which maketh our Soldiers, Miners, Chimney-ſweeps and Nigger-drivers the Envy and Terror of the World, and thoſe who lack the Quality neceſsary for the Reſponſibility of Command and Ownerſhip ſlide thereby into the horrid Slough of Vice and Idleneſs, and become a Burden to the Community and a Diſaſter to themſelves. It is doubtleſs as a Reſult of ſuch Conſiderations, which I have mentioned upon ſome few dozen Occaſions during our lengthy Correſpondence concerning my Employment at the more exalted Levels of Government, that our noble Prime Miniſter hath taken the ſuperbly ſtateſmanlike Deciſion to aboliſh Publick Health in England. Mine own Intelligence hath led me inexorably to conclude, that the recent Woo Han Peſtilence was aided in its ſubtil and nefarious Progreſs by that traitorous Cabal of Surgeons, Nurſes, Apothecaries and other Immigrants, who drained the Life's Blood of the Nation by continually demanding Applauſe from Hands that would have been better occupied in conſtructing affordable Hovels for hard-working Families and ſchooling the next Generation of entrepreneurial World-beaters by generous wielding of the pedagogical Rod.