Freedom Tastes Like Chlorine

Snowflakey do-gooders have demonstrated their anti-Atlanticist values by protesting the conditions of American farm animals. Since the Conservatives pledged not to compromise Britain's food hygiene standards once free of the Euro-wog yoke, the RSPCA is naturally concerned that the Cummings administration is about to open the national gastro-intestinal tract to all manner of fouled pork and polluted fowl. The charity has produced a video warning against consumption of the world's greatest meat because of the migrant-child conditions in which the contributors are kept: pigs can be imprisoned in stalls without room to turn around, while chickens must receive a posthumous baptism in swimming-pool water after spending their lives "literally sitting in each other's waste". A less charitable commentator than your correspondent might observe that there can be few more appropriate images for mainstream politics on either side of the Atlantic than flocks of modern dinosaurs enthroned clucking and squawking in their neighbours' excretions; although in fairness the RSPCA have apparently found no real evidence that significant numbers of chickens voted Trumpster.