Mysterious Animal Instincts

Despite their manifestly destined inferiority in most regards (the capacity for unskilled labour at no reward being a noted exception), it cannot be denied that the lesser breeds are sometimes rather difficult to understand, even for those most skilled with coloureds. Nevertheless, in a plucky new effort to fathom the motives of Africans, a Lords committee has spent six months discovering that a hostile environment may occasionally cause Africans to withdraw their goodwill. As if this were not perverse enough, the coalition's policy of deporting British citizens to countries where they can be among their own kind has been met with the blackest ingratitude. In their simplicity, however, the African natives have fallen under the insidious influence of the Heathen Chinee, whose own treacherous reaction to the stabilising opiates of British rule is a matter of historical record. What can be the matter with them? Fortunately, Her Majesty's Government's new Ministry for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets is resolved to spare no effort in resolving the conundrum.