Freedom of the Seas

Now that the Imperial Haystack and its chums have grown bored with boasting about their world-beating pandemic scores, it has become necessary to find new uses for the environment minister. Accordingly, Her Majesty's Government has announced the most comprehensive plan for tackling floods since the glistening pink Head Boy and his little orange fags adopted their policy of allowing large swathes of the country to become flooded more or less regularly. The new strategy graciously concedes the existence of the real world to the extent of allowing for the possibility of fields getting wet; but it does not include any ghastly red tape to prevent building houses on flood plains. This opens up the possibility of housing without the need of catering to the perverse preferences of namby-pamby newt fanciers, which will of course make the said housing all the more affordable for the more expendable class of buyer. While few would dare accuse the Cummings administration of anything so Stalinistically Europhiliac as an actual environmental policy, it does appear that Her Majesty's Government has at least managed a bit of joined-up bungling.