Passport Blues

The benefits of taking back control will soon be felt good and hard among the expendables of Gateshead, where the apparently indigenous though rather froggily-named company in charge of manufacturing passports and banknotes is halting production of the former. In the interests of patriotism, Her Majesty's Government has handed the contract for churning out the Recrudescent Imperium's passports to the beastly Euro-wogs, which means possible redundancy for a couple of hundred plucky little Brits. Fortunately they are only northerners, so nobody will mind very much; and the shareholders will reap the profits from forging the realm's new £50 notes, although it remains as yet unclear whether the featured celebrity portrait will be that of Dominic Cummings or Edward Colston.