Bad For You? Pernicious Nonsense

Given the axiomatic doctrine of the non-ideological virtuous, which specifies infallibly that private enterprise is more efficient than state control, it will come as no surprise that those charmingly cheeky people at EDF have submitted a plan, if plan is the word I want, to further the Conservatives' green recovery by building a nuclear power station in Suffolk. The company's previous effort, originally scheduled for completion three years from now in the wrong direction, is currently expected to be ready in half a decade's time and to cost only slightly more than twice the original quote. It remains as yet unclear what compensation the taxpayer will receive; although a subtle indication may perhaps be detected in the fact that EDF waited until two months into the pandemic, when even Her Majesty's Government had noticed it, before serving up their latest radioactive gumbo of pious aspirations and sniggering postmodern pledges. Among the more intriguing of these is the claim that the blanched pachyderm's presence "will provide a biodiversity net gain to the area." Just how extensive are the mutations going to be? Is it possible that by the year 2050, when the plant may well be almost halfway to completion, a Suffolk constituency may return a parliamentary expenses claimant with a head for each of their faces?