Worthy Tidings

True citizens and loyal subjects will rejoice that the birthday of Her Madge Gawblesser has been commemorated in appropriate fashion, with a senior official from the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns confirming another Government decision to endanger thousands of non-essential lives. It emerged last month that Britain had self-isolated from four procurement schemes for obtaining medical equipment to help with the pandemic; the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove claimed that it was because of a communications failure. Presumably the idea was meant to be that EU emails are less plucky and buccaneering and so tend to fall by the wayside; or perhaps the Government's staff have been too busy on social media recently. In any case, it now appears that ministers were fully briefed about the schemes, but decided not to participate for fear that any equipment thus obtained would be fatally tainted by foreignness. The stalwart heart of Her Madge Gawblesser will indubitably be gladdened at the thought of little people dying for patriotism.