Well Spent

However assiduously it may protect the British taxpayer from the horrors of funding an undeserved standard of living, Her Majesty's Government is always prepared to splash out on the fallen, on the sensible grounds that if you rah-rah loudly enough about sacrifice people will forget who wielded the knife. Accordingly, the Minister for Profitable Healthcare, acting from a deep personal sense of duty, has pledged to pay £60,000 to the families of NHS workers who die from the coronavirus: an amount which, if multiplied by four, would almost qualify as chickenfeed. It remains to be seen whether the money, should it materialise at all, will be taken from cancer patients, battered wives or some other prune-worthy branch of the magic money tree. Still, in terms of British spirit the scheme may well pay for itself. Given that many of the sacrificed workers will also have been swarming migrant hordes, families who dare to apply will undoubtedly find their data being passed to the Home Office for a bit of environmental hostility.