The Curmudgeon


Friday, March 20, 2020

Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

A rumour is abroad, that Her Majeſty's Government is conſidering the cloſure of Taverns, Play-houſes and other places of publick Gathering. This is all to the good with regard to the general Populace, which hath a natural tendency to Idleneſs that will be much improved by ſeveral days cloiſtered with the familie on Bread and Gin and ſpent in pious faſting and Prayer for Deliverance.

The Publick hath been warned againſt ineſsential Travel to foreign parts, although the Deciding of what may be eſsential or no hath been left to the Conscience of the individual, as befits an enterpriſing and Proteſtant people. I have it from ſeverall Pamphleteers, who heard from anonymous ſources, that the cloſing of Taverns will also be left to the Judgement of the inn-keepers, in order that our great Inſurance Companyes may be protected againſt the Importunities of tradeſmen and purveyors to publick Vice. Indubitably due proviſion will be made for the better Claſse of Persons, so that ſuch vital publick Amenities as the Bloater & Blueſtocking Coffee-Houſe ſhall not perish from the earth.

Meanwhile the Prime Miniſter hath warned that many loved ones will be loſt to the plague. The proportion of Fatalities to Infected is believed to be about one in one-Hundred; which means, according to the beſt Calculations, that the Toll is like to include at leaſt five or ſix of the Prime Miniſter's Baſtards, aſsuming their Mothers and Governeſses are of an affectionate Nature.


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