Squeak Loud and Wave a Soggy Twig

In keeping with the spirit of "friendly co-operation with sovereign equals" which implies that one Brexitannia is worth any twenty-seven beastly Euro-wogs, Her Majesty's Government is undertaking a stealthy re-armament programme. Should the Brusso-Strasbourgian Nazi-Soviet Politbunker refuse its unconditional surrender, convoys of Royal Navy patrol ships will stand by to keep Britain's fish safe for British anglers. Presumably the Government hopes to offset the economic consequences of no-deal by sending out the press-gangs to incentivise idle proles into a life of buccaneering and privateering. Nevertheless, despite the respective geographical dimensions of the mainland and the EU, it remains as yet unclear how many seaworthy vessels will be available should the need arise to fight a two-front war over cod and Gibraltar.