Our Best Export

Whatever legitimate and understandable concerns may persist among the British yeomanry about the insidious evils of sharia destabilising our thousand-year kingdom, it is clear that British values remain alive and well among Whitehall's favourite moderate fundamentalist head-choppers. Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman's pledge to minimise the use of capital punishment has been fulfilled in spectacularly British fashion, with a record number of executions last year including, on one law-and-order gala occasion, thirty-seven in a single day. Many of the death sentences were imposed on the basis of confessions extracted in a manner of which the British Home and Wog Control Office would be proud; some were imposed on people arrested as children for the very British crime of proposing radical solutions to serious problems. Doubtless it is a measure of the universal and enduring nature of British values that nobody in the head-chopping House of Saud seems to be complaining.