The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Beastly Barrister Snubs Sterner Sentencing

One of the main problems with mere experts, aside from their tendency to let the weight of mere facts warp their loyalty to the Government, is their habit of treating simple headline-grabbing proposals as though they were meant to solve actual problems. The People's Haystack has pledged to win War on Terror II by Christmas with his Churchillian scheme for subjecting terrorists to lie detector tests and forcing them to spend more time in the penal warehousing system, where they can learn the rudiments of a useful tax-free trade in the recreational substances industry. Nevertheless, rather than doing his duty for Queen and Cummings by providing appropriate rah-rah, the Government's adviser has maintained a laser-like focus on the mere facts that the polygraph is unreliable and that most terrorism offenders have been stopped short of committing actual terrorism. He even seems to think that Britain's security forces should engage in research, rather than fulfilling their proper function as messenger boys for the Trumpster administration; so it will come as no surprise that he also seems to believe that sentencing should be carried out by unelected enemies of the people just because they happen to know a bit about the law. It would of course be uncharitable in the extreme to infer that Boris Johnson, of all people, might have his own reasons for preferring lie detectors that don't work.

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