Squeezed Out

Breeders who persist in their disgusting hobby even in the face of present conditions will inflict slightly worse lives upon their offspring than those suffered by themselves or their own parental tormentors, according to the Office for National Statistics. Expectations of healthy life in Britain have been in decline for the past seven years; which, by sheer coincidence, just happens to be when the Bullingdon Club and its little yellow enablers forced through the Health and Social Care Act, a major stage in the sensible-centrist generation's ongoing vandalism of the National Health Service. There is also substantial inequality between life expectancies of people born in areas inhabited by hard-working families and those infested with scroungers and shirkers; and it remains unclear whether the ONS has taken sufficient account of the effects of climate change. Thanks to the effects of boiling, drowning, disease, starvation and the violence that will result from social collapse, the problem of healthy living during their golden years is likely, for many if not most brand-new Britons, to be somewhat academic.