Borderline Genius

Although the fall of the Soviet Union made Russia a playground for plucky little entrepreneurs, the authoritarian tendencies of the well-known election winner Vladimir Putin have led to something of a freeze on British values. This no doubt explains why the beastly Russians have arrested an enterprising gentleman who erected his own border near Finland and charged illegal immigrants for the privilege of being led across it. Much like those swashbuckling Libyan businesspersons who have flourished in the wake of the 2011 wog-bombing, he promised "work and a better life" in Europe, and even brought along an inflatable boat just in case. The Russian authorities are taking a dim view of the matter, but it is to be hoped that Whitehall's Department for Exiting the Shackles of Euro-woggery will take note, and perhaps even have a whip-round to bribe a kindred spirit out of jail. Given that we may well spend the next few years drawing various imaginary lines in the Irish Sea, it would be just as well to have someone around who can make them profitable.