Trouble with Gas

Elderly voters for British independence will almost certainly survive at least the first winter outside the EU, according to a refreshingly optimistic statement by the electricity system operator, National Grid. However, depending on how clean a break is achieved, the Continent's self-imposed isolation from the mainland may induce a certain buoyancy where prices are concerned. Spooked by the possibility that the Recrudescent Imperium may be forced to compete for gas with "energy-hungry Asian countries" whose corporate and other coolies lack Britannia's buccaneering thrift, the Stakhanovite extremists at the CBI persist in urging that Her Majesty's Government interfere in the free market to provide, of all things, infrastructure. Meanwhile, those of us with the temerity to wish for continued lighting, heating and other luxuries must certainly be grateful for the foresight displayed by the Conservatives and their little yellow fags, who have spent the last decade slashing funds for sustainable power and subsidising the shale-frackers whose major contribution to the country's energy efficiency comprises a few rather small earthquakes.