Cliffs of Dover to Gain Matching Sepulchre

Pragmatic parliamentary charity towards the homeless is not limited to hand-wringing expenses claimants like Heidi "The Waterworks" Allen. The Speaker's chaplain, who next month will take up the ascetic burdens of the Dover bishopric, has exercised the Commons' brand of Christian charity towards a group of rough sleepers who were using the tunnel between the Houses of Parliament and Westminster tube station. While claiming to be devastated by the deaths of homeless people at the station, the bishop-in-waiting was indignant at the standards of hygiene in the tunnel, which the rough sleepers blame on late-night drunks relieving themselves after closing time. She also worried that the piles of bedding might be a security risk; the number of MPs recently assassinated with homeless people's bedding escapes me for the moment, but presumably God has the information to hand. The bishop-in-waiting acknowledged that simply moving the people on would solve nothing, but as regards the minor matter of finding a more humane alternative she seems to have left things to the mercy of Providence and the vagrancy laws. The police moved the rough sleepers on, with the result that they now have to sleep outside the tunnel rather than inside, and with the winter coming on there is every chance that some of them will meet God face to face before too long.