The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, September 22, 2019

The Father of Teeth

Text for today: Dentures clxvii-clxxxix

Some hundreds of years before, however, the Father of Teeth was caught up in a great parade. A woman in a white coat was borne aloft by a baying mob, who taunted her with afflictions real and imaginary and defied her to write them a prescription. Mothers waved their children at her and demanded, speaking as mothers, that she account for her activities as an abortionist; and when the woman in the white coat tried to reply, the mob drowned her out with screams of "Mere theory!"

"Most edifying," said the Father of Teeth, "but what exactly does it signify?"
"It is a tribute to the divine justice," explained a passing theologian. "Since God is just, there is only one explanation for disease, namely that the afflicted deserve their affliction. Therefore doctors who can't cure are laughing-stocks, while those who can are sorcerers."
"What about dentists?" asked the Father of Teeth.
"Dentists are renowned for their ability to cause pain and humiliation," said the passing theologian, "and are therefore exempt from the ritual of moral correction, except when they charge too little."
"You are," said the Father of Teeth, "not far from the kingdom of heaven."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home