Restless Rustics

Disappointingly enough, Britain's farmers appear to be joining the chorus of malcontents spewing pessimistic nihilism all over our sunny uplands. Instead of enjoying the glorious sunshine and soft refreshing rain of our ever more innovative climate, they whinge and whine about the harvest; instead of rejoicing at the approaching Britishisation of their casual labour, they clamour for the horrors of free movement. They complain about cauliflowers while soft fruit yields have enjoyed a bumper year, notably in blackcurrants and the Conservative Party. Fanatics that they are, they threaten to sacrifice their own profits to ideological Remoanerism by exporting grain to Africa rather than allowing it to mature in warehouses already bulging with Brexit benefits. Fortunately, the Government has said some words about being committed and introducing new schemes, and will soon be publishing its own figures about the harvest in which there will be enough of everything for everyone who deserves it.