And After All He's Done For Them

West Yorkshire Police have reacted with dour northern ingratitude to their recently-awarded privilege of being used as a scenic backdrop for the Imperial Haystack. Not only were officers given a chance to spend an hour enjoying the sunshine, but rather than listen to some tedious if probably fictitious recruitment figures they were treated to a fizzing display of the Haystack's inspired wof waf woof and argle bargle fargle. Nevertheless, the inevitable cavils and complaints are emerging because the police are not supposed to be used for party politics beyond the time-honoured cant about bobbies on the beat. One officer was even ungracious enough to faint, though whether from heat exhaustion or mere exposure to the Haystack's patriotic pheromones has not been reliably established. If the former, no doubt the lesson learned by the new one-nation Conservative Party will be that the force needs more coloureds because they can better withstand the climate's increasing balminess.