Advanced Preparations

Given the Imperial Haystack's repeated assurances that Britain will leave the EU on 31 October come what may, it is hardly surprising that the Conservative Party's members of the European Parliament are advertising for new servants to start on 1 November. The role will be "a great opportunity to learn more about the work of the European Parliament and the European Union, gaining practical experience in a demanding political office," and therefore presumably will entail minimal actual contact with members of the Conservative Party. It will also require "a basic knowledge of the European Union," which seems a little unfair as it will obviously be a handicap when seeking ministerial office; as will the demand for a certain level of literacy. It remains as yet unclear whether the advertisement was sanctioned by the Imperial Haystack or any of his entourage: it is true that the present Secretary of State for Wogs, Frogs and Huns has only recently realised that Great Britain is an island, but there are regrettable gaps in the public record concerning how many ministers of the Crown are aware of the order of the months.