Robust Lines for Inappropriate Things

Since all the Conservative leadership candidates pledged to hold an inquiry into the party's long and squalid record of Muslim-baiting, it should come as no surprise that the new party chair has made haste to renege on the pledge. Part of the problem seems to be that the Conservative Party's command of the English language is inadequate to a proper definition of Islamophobia, since the concept is not encompassed either by the dictionary of Samuel Johnson or the dicktion of Boris Johnson. An independent inquiry may one day be held, but in the interests of national unity it will most likely be restricted to a bit of tut-tutting over racism in general, accompanied by some pious finger-wagging on the need for certain leftist firebrands to show more understanding of the coloureds, with perhaps an exhortation to the mad mullahs and Windrush piccaninnies to evolve a sense of humour.