British Delight

Having taken back control of a great British industry by flogging it off to a foreign firm, Her Majesty's Government has naturally done its best to ensure a stable and secure working environment in which its grateful beneficiaries may grow and thrive and grow their inevitable thrivingness. A major factor in this master-stroke of political economy is of course the approaching apocalypse of Britain's independence from the quasi-Mongolian hordes of the Brusso-Strasbourgian axis; and the new owners of British Steel are already looking for ways to mitigate the dubious if epoch-making blessings of that great British event. So far only sixty-four jobs are at risk from these precautions, and even those are only in the north; so nobody who matters will be much affected. Besides, British Steel's prospective new owners are a military pension fund with a record of corruption, disrespect for labour rights and ties to the Turkish armed forces, whose last attempt at a coup d'état took place all of three years ago. For Her Majesty's Government, doing business with such people is not only a privilege but a pleasure.