A Nightcap of Inverness Porter

Returning for a moment to the world of serious things, Marks and Spencer have been forced to change the name of a martini drink because of its astounding implication that there might be some sort of link between alcohol and sexual activity. The idea that the British, of all people, might need the help of intoxicating liquors to shed their inhibitions before standing-to, or to conquer the inevitable mutual repulsion of long-time cohabitees, is of course bizarre in the extreme and entirely inadmissible. It remains to be seen whether the nation's new, teetotal culture of love will continue to permit quick ones or stiff ones, to say nothing of purple-faced screams at chucking-out time.