Chunter Killer

By convenient coincidence, the primary qualification for leadership of the Conservative Party is the same as the primary qualification for Foreign Secretary; namely a voluble predilection for wog-bombing. Thus Jeremy Chunt is now able to combine his primary and secondary political roles by ordering the European Union to fall in line against the mad mullahs and crusade for the Freedom of the Seas. Admittedly the beastly Euro-wogs were not the Recrudescent Imperium's first choice of partner; but Westminster has already requested the Trumpster administration to help re-stage the Battle of the Atlantic in the Strait of Hormuz and, in accordance with the provisions of the Special Relationship, has been brusquely advised to fry its own fish. This led to some unrest among the Conservative Party's subtler diplomatic minds, such as the brilliant Iain Duncan Smith and the purple-faced filly-fumbler Michael Fallon, who both thought it was jolly unfair to exclude our transatlantic overlords from the fun. Chunt hastened to reassure them and, by means of an aside on oil and natural gas, also took care to remind them exactly how many figs the Government gives for the climate emergency.