The Father of Teeth
Text for today: II Bicuspid xxiv-xxxvii
Nevertheless, just over the horizon from the disaster, the Father of Teeth came upon a peaceful village whose inhabitants welcomed him with charitable benedictions and complacent smiles. Though they asked no questions about the disaster,the very air was fogged with thoughts and prayers, which deadened the distant screams and rendered the roiling plumes of black smoke into a soft and silvery haze.
Since the disaster had left the Father of Teeth somewhat bruised and annoyed, he was taken directly to the church to have his indignation soothed away. A priest descended from the rafters on a rope that creaked only slightly, and assured the Father of Teeth that his lumps and scrapes and scorch-marks would all help to ensure that the divine plan came out nicely in the end.
"Will you not pray with me," said the priest, while the rope swung and squeaked, "and give thanks for your deliverance, and beg the Creator's mercy for those not fortunate enough to have escaped?"
"I would imagine," grumbled the Father of Teeth, "that if supernatural mercy were going to descend, it would have done so before now. If this particular atrocity, with all its chaos and casualties, has been planned from the beginning of time, it seems a little presumptuous to petition for modifications at this late stage."
"The purpose of prayer is not to alter the Almighty's ways," said the priest, swaying serenely from side to side, "but to help us adjust our own attitude and enhance our faith in His ultimate goodness. Each calamity He inflicts is a test of our will to believe in Him; and the misfortunes of others thereby provide an excellent opportunity for us to polish up the gloss on our own souls."
Accordingly, having taken his leave of the village the Father of Teeth produced several sets of automatic heavy-duty dentures and set them to work on the foundations of the church. He calculated that the building would collapse near the Sunday sermon's point of orgasm, and trusted that his soul would shine the brighter for a safely distanced contemplation of the unfortunate event.
Nevertheless, just over the horizon from the disaster, the Father of Teeth came upon a peaceful village whose inhabitants welcomed him with charitable benedictions and complacent smiles. Though they asked no questions about the disaster,the very air was fogged with thoughts and prayers, which deadened the distant screams and rendered the roiling plumes of black smoke into a soft and silvery haze.
Since the disaster had left the Father of Teeth somewhat bruised and annoyed, he was taken directly to the church to have his indignation soothed away. A priest descended from the rafters on a rope that creaked only slightly, and assured the Father of Teeth that his lumps and scrapes and scorch-marks would all help to ensure that the divine plan came out nicely in the end.
"Will you not pray with me," said the priest, while the rope swung and squeaked, "and give thanks for your deliverance, and beg the Creator's mercy for those not fortunate enough to have escaped?"
"I would imagine," grumbled the Father of Teeth, "that if supernatural mercy were going to descend, it would have done so before now. If this particular atrocity, with all its chaos and casualties, has been planned from the beginning of time, it seems a little presumptuous to petition for modifications at this late stage."
"The purpose of prayer is not to alter the Almighty's ways," said the priest, swaying serenely from side to side, "but to help us adjust our own attitude and enhance our faith in His ultimate goodness. Each calamity He inflicts is a test of our will to believe in Him; and the misfortunes of others thereby provide an excellent opportunity for us to polish up the gloss on our own souls."
Accordingly, having taken his leave of the village the Father of Teeth produced several sets of automatic heavy-duty dentures and set them to work on the foundations of the church. He calculated that the building would collapse near the Sunday sermon's point of orgasm, and trusted that his soul would shine the brighter for a safely distanced contemplation of the unfortunate event.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home