Low-Grade Personnel

Outsourced workers at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns, rather than rejoicing in their economic liberty, have gone on strike over their employer's decision to postpone paying their monthly wages for two weeks. Like many low-paid workers, they seem to have been indiscreet enough to pay rent or mortgages rather than inheriting or owning their homes outright, and some of them even pay their bills in Britain rather than the Bahamas. By contrast, the company that employs them is so fiscally responsible that it was forced to restructure as recently as three months ago; which presumably was what led Her Majesty's Government to renew the company's contract, along with such corporate virtues as a disinclination to recognise trade unions and a non-ideological attitude to the London living wage. The relevant minister, Jeremy C Hunt, proclaimed in March that he would take "full responsibility" for failures to pay support staff on time; but as befits a would-be national figurehead under the leadership of Rupert Murdoch and the Trumpster, he has today outsourced the responsibility for proclaiming that he won't be taking responsibility after all.