Little Lectures on Liberalism

Even among the dead ducks, traditional Conservative values are quacking as loudly as ever. Since at least the glory days of the Crimean War, Russophobia has generally outweighed Islamophobia on the dog-whistle scale that passes for the Conservative mind; and the remains of Tumbledown Tessie have shambled to attention for a final diplomatic rictus and rah-rah in keeping with that honourable trend. Having given the journalist-murdering, nation-invading fiend Putin a piece of her mind over the security services' Salisbury fantasy, and promised to continue defending liberal values against citizens of nowhere, enemies of the people and wogs, the rotten remnants went on to deliver yet more advice on moral rearmament to Her Majesty's Government's favourite journalist-murdering, nation-invading fundamentalist head-choppers. On the case of Jamal Khashoggi, the Saudi crown prince received some friendly advice about open and transparent legal process, such as Her Majesty's Government has been consistently unafraid to pursue in cases from Jean Charles de Menezes to Julian Assange. On the continuing rampage in Yemen, it was agreed that Britain's profitable and character-building contribution to regional stability probably ought to continue, in the continuing hope that the head-chopping House of Saud will be encouraged to improve itself further.