Dauntless Dimness

The Recrudescent Imperium's new Secretary of State for Wog-Bombing has lost little time in positioning herself as a worthy successor to the likes of Gavin Williamson, Liam Fox and Butcher Hoon. Having proposed to avoid prosecutions of British troops for crimes against lesser breeds, unless in "exceptional circumstances" where such a prosecution would benefit the Conservative Party, Penny Mordaunt decided there was no reason why Britain's brave boys should be caught in any nasty Northern Irish backstops. The response from the breakaway Republic of Ireland was predictably unsporting, and Mordaunt's own ministry had initially made clear that uppity colonials are not exactly the same as terrorists; but this in itself provoked squeals of indignation from the likes of Marc de François and other men of action on the Conservative back benches, who ejaculated oracular admonitions against placing British subjects under the rule of law. It remains as yet unclear whether Mordaunt has sufficient Williamsonian vision to respond by introducing a Kill a Mick and Win a Skoda clause.