Plodding Parallel

Despite Japan being a faraway foreign country and an Axis Power to boot, and despite the recent glorious victories of the Recrudescent Imperium of Westminster, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands over the fiendish job-providers of Sunderland, certain scientific experiments may yet prove relevant to the modern Conservative Party. A woolly yet elephantine prehistoric creature has been brought into close and intimate association with some small squeaking vermin; as a result it appears that some genetic self-repair is possible and even a resurrection may not be entirely out of the question. However, there is still a long way to go, and even if the creature can be brought back to life its natural habitat will be long gone, thanks to a massive intensification of the changes in climate that probably helped to kill it off in the first place. There is some room for doubt whether the cold, empty tundra behind Tumbledown Tessie's flat dead eyes would be wide or spacious enough to accommodate even a single woolly mammoth, particularly one suspected of being made in Japan.