Northern Blights

As one would expect from a government which has the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove instead of a Secretary of State for the Environment, Britain's present strategy for weaning its economy away from fossil fuels consists largely of cultivating dependence on a less dependable fossil fuel than the ones we now depend on. Hence the Recrudescent Imperium's northern powerhouse has suffered further embarrassment after the recent earthquakes, as the shale-frackers have been farting methane into the atmosphere. Not even the shale-frackers claim that this is a good idea, although the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove may one day get around to it in the name of protecting Britain's dairy farmers; the usual practice is to burn the gas as it emerges, but on this occasion the gas let everybody down and, like a synaptic spark in a Conservative cranium, simply failed to ignite. Despite claims of environmental virtues to rival those of clean coal and sustainable uranium, data from the American industry shows that shale-fracking is about as clean as any other fossil fuel extraction; but even its origins in the chlorinated nation of Trump and his hydrophobic head-tribble cannot confer upon this information the usual status of Holy Writ, because Her Majesty's Government's belief is that Her Majesty's Government believes that it believes what it believes.