In Reason's Grasp

In such volatile times as these, the cool and soothing hand of rationality is always to be welcomed; and the present holder of the Conservative Party's collective scrotum has duly renewed its grip. Without prejudice to further bungs from the ever-obliging British taxpayer, the Democratic Unionist Party will be happy to oblige Her Majesty's Government provided the latter can give a clear assurance that it has no intention of honouring any treaty with the Euro-wogs for a moment longer than absolutely necessary. Tumbledown Tessie's thingummy in charge of whatever responded with a bit of a burble about how Global Brexitannia would not hesitate to back out of its commitments if motivated by a radical change in circumstances; but a slight damper was cast by an enemy of the people who declared that neither the fall of the USSR, nor the end of the Warsaw Pact, nor the breakup of Czechoslovakia would be of sufficient magnitude. Of course, the chance yet remains that little Gavin Williamson may decide to celebrate our new-found independence with a pre-emptive military intervention in Gibraltar via the soft underbelly of China, Afghanistan and the Urals. That might just do the trick.