Common Sense Triumphs Again

British family values are once more under attack, and being staunchly defended by the compliant Sajid Javid's reformed, utterly non-racist Ministry for Wog Control. The guardians of the nation have refused a visitor's visa for a Togolese man to be with his British partner while she gave birth to their twins, on the grounds that, being of a different moral complexion to the Conservative Party, he might feel no particular urge to stand by his obligations and leave when the visa expired. The Ministry was also concerned that the relationship, having lasted only four years until now, is insufficiently stable for the welfare of the country, having presumably been formalised only in some barbarous Togolese manner featuring glistening juju-men and fevered bongo drummers. Since her partner cannot be with her, the mother cannot work and has to live on benefits, to the incalculable profit of her children and the British taxpayer. Naturally, when asked to specify the full extent of these profits in Parliament, Javid's ever-obliging henchbeing Caroline Nokes put Parliament firmly in its place; but the citizens of nowhere at the Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants claim that a minimum of fifteen thousand British children are imbibing the world's best family values in similar fashion.