Soft Power Sell-Off

If there's one thing the Conservative Party hates more than spending taxpayers' money for the benefit of taxpayers, it is spending taxpayers' money for improvement of wogs. Lacking the wherewithal to bomb its beneficiaries like a proper ministry, the Department for International Development is further hampered in its patriotic duty by the fact that its profiteering arm is prohibited from spending money inside the UK, thereby depriving NHS contractors of their nest-eggs and placing hard-working railway managers at risk of starving in the street. Accordingly, Pincher Mordaunt has announced that she would like the department to stop all pretence of being an office of state and simply hire itself out to the military-industrial complex for the facilitation of war and profit. A spokesbeing for the dead-eyed warden was extruded to proclaim that, as always, present policy remains unchanged and there are no plans to change it; which of course leaves eminently open the plausible possibility of its being changed without all the treacherous noise and bother that planning would entail.