Shelter for the Deserving

After decades of languishing beneath the Euro-wog yoke, Britain's glorious resurgence as a global superpower has taken yet another great leap forward. Overseas territories which provide aid and comfort to tax-dodgers have been squealing about a new requirement to make public the identities of their clients, and with its usual forthright mix of pluck, gumption and decency the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns has gloriously caved in. The Government was in any case reluctant to impose the new rule, but its hand was forced by Parliament which, as we now know, does not represent the will of the people and whose treacherous taking of control must be defied at every opportunity through the stabilising strength of Tumbledown Tessie. Always a martyr to its own generosity as long as someone else is paying, the Government has given the fiscal heavens an extra three years to compile their registers, on the grounds that many Caribbean islands have suffered a degree of disorganisation because of hurricanes, and in some cases no doubt because of those national emergencies which can result from the arrival of a few dozen Windrush exiles.