The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Little Things Hitting Each Other

Foreigners, scientists and suchlike disreputable persons are considering the expenditure of eighteen thousand million pounds on a machine for putting some very small objects inside a very long tunnel and then ramming them together at considerable speed. The resulting energy discharges will then be analysed, hopefully to the enhancement of humanity's understanding of the universe. Since the ghastly Euro-wogs are sadly lacking in the mainland's buccaneering British scepticism about the concept of planning things before throwing large sums of money at them, the project has not yet been definitely confirmed; and in any case completion is not expected for another forty years or so, by which time those parts of British Empire 2.0 which remain above sea level will doubtless be concerned with more significant questions, such as whether Margaret Thatcher is consubstantial with the Faragean Incarnation, and whether witches are best drowned in salt water or fresh.

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