Gove Slurries Around

In light of the Government's record of serial law-breaking on air pollution, it's only natural that the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove should wish to distract attention away from traffic fumes by emitting a belch or two about slurry. Famously used some years ago to decorate the tangerine-faced proto-Farage Robert Kilroy-Silk, the liquid equivalent of Conservative Party policy is a major source of ammonia, so the jabbering homunculus has promised to introduce voluntary controls and to reward farmers for not being naughty, rather like the late Head Boy giving tax breaks to the virtuously married. In deference to the urgency of the situation, the jabbering homunculus has promised to wait six years before this rigorous new régime is imposed. Meanwhile, in order to minimise the risk of mere experts turning up and giving ministers a headache, emissions from intensive livestock farms are not being monitored at all.