Uncle Tom Javid's Seasonal Packages

In accordance with the moral principles long and firmly held by the dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK and her mean little god, the Ministry for Wog Control celebrated her Saviour's birth by trying to deport a couple of brown people. One was a Congolese torture victim who was detained in a dawn raid a week before Christmas; the other was a slave trafficking victim who was "found to be working illegally" and whom even the Ministry minions accepted was a suicide risk. Although her account of her experiences was consistent with her physical scars, the consistency of her story fell short of the standard righteously expected by the kind of people who invoke the law while illegally deporting British citizens. The Ministry finds the festive period a particularly spiritual time for forced removals because the swarming hordes find it harder to gain access to legal advice; unfortunately for the safety of the nation, it appears that certain legalistic enemies of the people are failing to follow the example of the compliant Sajid Javid and his fellow honourable members, who have responded to the current national crisis by toddling off on holiday.