Loose Wiring

Well, here's a thing: Her Majesty's Government has failed to lead consumer uptake of electric cars despite Chris Graybeing having promised the contrary. The brilliant Graybeing, whose luminous achievements at the Ministry for Motorists and Fossil Fuels consist largely of applying laissez-faire principles to national railway timetables and clobbering cyclists with car doors, boasted about switching to electric cars during a recent blather about mitigating the legacy of his colleague, the former London Haystack. Apparently the levels of air pollution bequeathed by the Haystack, and their possible harmful effect upon the proles' capacity for gross domestic product, made some sort of vague impression upon the Graybeing nanocortex for a moment or two some months ago. Fortunately, the cranial capacity of this not-terribly-brightest of the Not Terribly Bright Party has since reasserted itself, and Graybeing duly carried out his master plan for electrifying the roads after the accustomed manner of Graybeing master plans, by removing incentives for people to buy electric cars. A spokesbeing was extruded to proclaim the virtues of saving taxpayers' money with which to incentivise the railway companies, who are doing so much to prove that the racist, authoritarian, nationalist and irrational Conservative Party is not actually Fascist by keeping the trains from running on time.