Gavin Gets One Off

Military adventurism is of course a Conservative favourite to rank with racism and sacking people, and the pubescent Minister for Wog-Bombing has accordingly responded to the present moment of national crisis by waving his willy in the Sabbath Barclaygraph. He noted that discussions about the EU have like actually coloured "much of our national viewpoint" for like literally decades; clearly the Conservative Party's demented thirty-year obsession with the issue has been purely the result of its intimate in-touchness with the petty and paranoid Britannic soul. Fortunately, we need no longer concern ourselves with mere allies and trading partners, and our liberation will allow us to concentrate on our manifest destiny and like actually create a deterrent and provide moral guidance for Australia, Canada, New Zealand and much of Africa and actually take a British presence to re-conquer Singapore and take the Caribbean back from Mandela's beastly Mau Mau or whoever. Little Gavin also proclaimed that, while the rest of the world thinks Britain is ten feet tall when actually Britain is six feet tall, Britain actually sees Britain as five feet tall and not six feet tall and certainly not ten feet tall at all. Little Gavin thinks this is wrong. Britain has been much too pessimistic about our future as we exit the European Union, and little Gavin actually has 3500 troops on hand to ensure that we all keep smiling.