The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, December 02, 2018

Bad Theology

Text for today: Matthew 6 ix-xiii; Luke 11 i-iv

According to Matthew's gospel, Jesus told His disciples the Lord's Prayer as part of the Sermon on the Mount; according to Luke's gospel He gave them a slightly different version when one of them asked Him after His own prayers. Common to both versions are the hallowing of the Father's name; the wish for the coming of the Kingdom with its attendant massacre and torment; the request for bread; the request for forgiveness; the claim to have forgiven others; and the request not to be led into temptation.

Matthew's version begins with a possessive: Our Father, not simply Father, and certainly not Father of all. This emphasises what Luke's simple address to the Father merely implies; namely the brotherly bond of shared subordination to paternal authority, and the exclusion of anyone who does not have blood and body in common. The hallowing of the paterfamiliar name serves a similar purpose by expressing the petitioner's fervour for appropriate family values.

Both versions hail the coming of the Kingdom, with its fire and brimstone, its wailing and gnashing of teeth; Matthew's version adds the line Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, which expresses the petitioner's subservience and dutiful complicity in whatever tortures the Father may see fit to visit upon the world. As always, God demands not only obedience but zealous participation by His children in the crimes He commits against them. Similarly, the begging for bread is purely and simply an act of self-abasement. Given that the Father knows what we need before we ask for it, the purpose of the request cannot be to obtain food, since only the faithless ever go hungry in any case. The request for bread emphasises and flatters the Father's omnipotent will which, whether the bread is earthly or heavenly, alone determines who will eat and who will starve.

Next, forgiveness is requested on the grounds of having forgiven others. Like God's love, which is not unconditional but dependent on humanity's unquestioning obedience and grovelling praise, God's forgiveness is not unconditional but must be obtained through a transaction. The request not to be led into temptation, to which Matthew adds a request to be delivered from evil, is the Saviour's response to His own observation that the Father has ensured the inevitability of temptation but will nevertheless mercilessly punish those whom He appoints as His instruments in delivering it. Jesus prudently orders His followers to beg that others, rather than themselves, be granted this dubious honour and the chastisement that will inevitably follow.

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