Treacherous Bluster

Despite the atmosphere of trust and friendship so assiduously cultivated by Her Majesty's Government in all its dealings with the beastly queue-jumping Stalinist Nazi Euro-wogs, it seems that at least one secretary of state has failed to share in the goodwill. The Spanish minister for the EU has accused Britain of sneaking a clause into the withdrawal agreement which would enable the future of Gibraltar to be decided between Britain and its colonisers without reference to Spain. Unlike the phlegmatic and understated British, Marco Aguiriano contented himself with describing the mood as almost treacherous. Meanwhile, in the Recrudescent Imperium of Westminster and the Falkland Islands, it is believed that ministers are frantically dispatching civil servants and special advisers in search of dago jokes, the deeds to Franco's tomb and fascinating facts about the Armada.