Breath is a Privilege, Not a Right

Subversive and backsliding elements of the education industry are doing their best to undermine years of patient work by Boris Johnson and others in ensuring that future generations will benefit from a sustainable supply of Conservative voters. It will be remembered that, with his usual insouciant defiance of ghastly Euro-wog red tape, the London Haystack maintained extra-high levels of toxic air pollution, particularly among the expendable classes. So profound and far-reaching was the modernisation that some school buildings from the good old days now enable the pollution to operate at twenty to forty times the efficiency of the outside air, with an extremely salutary cerebral effect on the voters of tomorrow. Certain members of the teaching blob - probably the kind of left-wing extremists who think that children should be taught and schools run by qualified people rather than the likes of Toby Young - are now undercutting that good work by inflicting face masks on pupils and attempting to restrict parents' democratic right to drive. As a former education secretary and part-time minister for the environment, the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove will no doubt bring his expertise to bear upon this deplorable situation once he has dealt with the important things.