Uncle Shaun's Blabbing

Having scored, thanks to the populist brilliance of Zac Goldsmith, a decisive moral victory in the last London mayoral election, the Conservatives have carefully selected a charmer of equal merit as their new candidate. Unlike Sajid Javid, whose sole wish is to keep people like his own parents out of the country (the Hollywood origin story, complete with daddy issues, is no doubt already in pre-production), Shaun Bailey seems mainly interested in shifting the wog barrier from British versus Coloured to British versus Infidel. In a pamphlet written for a Thatcherite thick-tank a dozen years ago, Bailey proclaimed that the presence of Muslims and Hindus was robbing Britain of its community, and that their alien ethics and peculiar holidays would cause the country to slip into a crime-riddled cesspool. Black people, on the other hand, find it much easier to integrate because of their Christian faith and shared language, whose nuances are evidently impenetrable to the average Diwalic or Ramadanian swarming horde. Remarkably enough, the instigator of the Windrush persecutions and hostile environment has apparently endorsed Bailey "despite" his magnum opus rather than because of it.