The Ultimate Threat

Voting against Tumbledown Tessie's dead-horse Brexit deal could leave the Argies free to retake the Falkland Islands, the Prime Minister's allies are expected to squeal in forthcoming negotiations between the Conservative Party's various factions. The Argie foreign minister has suggested that leaving the EU would cause Britain to give up certain privileges of belonging to the EU: a self-evident absurdity of such blatant mendaciousness that the Euro-wogs themselves have been insisting on it since the Conservative Party started barking orders at them. In 1982 the islands were invaded by Argentina, which lies just off the coast of West Falkland and retaken personally in a historic military campaign by Margaret Thatcher, the well-known contemporary incarnation of Winston Churchill and admirer of Argie neighbour General Pinochet. Fortunately, Tumbledown Tessie herself is due to visit Argentina, doubtless in order to set the final seal on whatever brilliant deals her vole-brained former Minister for Werritty has negotiated for selling our corned beef and authentic gaucho costumes; so presumably, if the Argies know what is good for them, everything will be sorted out then.