Join Up and See the World

Given the Recrudescent Imperium's dedication to democracy, from Trump-licker Tessie in Washington through the vole-brained former Minister for Werritty in the Philippines to the glorious business relationship with the head-chopping House of Saud and various diplomatic comparisons of the Euro-wogs with Stalin and the Nazis, it should come as no surprise that Jeremy Rhymes-with-Hunt has conceived an ambition for Britain to become an invisible chain of democracy, a sort of global leg-iron to keep all the appropriate freedoms in place and make sure they don't do anything silly. To this end, a mere seven years after sacking much of its staff for being too expert, Her Majesty's Government has become vaguely aware of the need for some sort of commercial contact with the lesser breeds once Britain goes global next March. Accordingly, Jeremy Rhymes-with-Hunt is about to announce a new recruitment drive to ensure that the career prospects for chief executives of FTSE companies no longer suffer from the outdated prejudices of those who believe diplomacy should be conducted by the merely qualified. The Rhymes-with-Hunt initiative is sufficiently adulterated by reality to encompass the possibility of recruiting salespersons who speak wog; fortunately, eight years of educational reform and hostile environment have undoubtedly ensured that, apart from spies and suchlike useful people, very few linguistic citizens of nowhere remain in the country.